Are You Telling Fundraising Stories the Wrong Way?

Presumably, your fundraising appeals should spark emotion in your donors.

However, going overboard trying to do so, is just, well, crazy.

The overuse of particular words, like adjectives and metaphors, could result in nonsense like the following:

“The terrible burden of seemingly unrelenting poverty fell like a heavy weight upon Tara’s small shoulders as she fought mightily to provide for herself and her little ones. As she considered the hopelessness of her predicament, the tears streamed down her face like rain on a windowpane.”

That’s dramatic, for sure. However, it’s also very phony sounding. So much so that it strains my ability to believe the story isn’t a creation of AI.

My point is that creative writing like the above should be saved for the next time you decide to write a novel depicting someone’s unfortunate circumstance.

When it comes to fundraising, the best stories are the ones that don’t embellish.

Clip and save: The best way to pull readers of your stories in is the simplest way, by being direct.

Suggestion:

Go back and reread your stories and descriptions and try to eliminate adjectives and adverbs that aren’t essential to the point you’re making.

A better idea: focus on strong verbs, instead. Verbs create the idea of action, and people will have a much easier time imagining the point you’re trying to make if there is action involved.

To my readers: you’re in fundraising and development, so I’d love to know what you think about this blog. Are your appeals working the way you think they should? Leave me a comment or let’s talk directly.